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A year’s passing.

Here is the obligatory ‘One year since Michael Jackson’s Death’ blog post. Any sentiment that could be offered here would serve no addition to the discourse that already exists about the musical icon. Consequently there will be no rant or pearled wisdom written here today. Instead what you shall receive is an offer of remembrance through some remixes of Michael’s work.

Typically, remixing M.J’s tracks is blasphemous to the utter perfection of the originals, however some remixes allow for the crossing of genres that provides new life to songs that many of us have inadvertently overplayed. Although they will never substitute the songs they were innovated from, here are some decent reinterpretations that are worth a listen on the day that marks a phenomenally talented man’s passing.

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Toro Y Moi – Human Nature

Don’t be afraid to join the most pretentious people on the planet and listen to chillwave. Once you establish a love for it you have every right to become pretentious too.

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Michael Jackson – Smooth Criminal (Telemitry Remix)

A modern update of a classic that actually makes it sound like it pre-dates its original counterpart. Intriguing.

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Michael Jackson – Bad (Mowgli is Bad Remix)

Surely you know this one. It’s fucking badass.

*Rad picture thanks to – http://www.wikimusicmemorabilia.com/Image:Jacksketch30495.jpg

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Guten Tag

Tonight sees Apple Bar continuing its battle against midweek banality with the hosting of another decent international act. The Californian duo LAZRtag is scheduled for tonight’s instalment from the reputable list of international attractions set to hit Synagogue Place this year. If the performance at Apple by their fellow Yanks from Nadastrom a month ago is any indicator of how large a weeknight can be, then this too should be an absolute riot.

LAZRtag’s style is indicative of the kind of heavy synth driven electro that has in vogue a year and a half ago. Many current punters (and some retired ones) would have cut their electronic teeth on the mind-warpingly trilly synths and droning baselines that characterise their style. Classic electro bangers such as their remix of Metric – Crimewave and of course this, would no doubt hold a particularly special position within the reminiscing hearts of many electro aficionados. They serve as indefatigable vessels of reminder for a time when the synthetic drugs, synthetic sounds and synthetic soles of your slip-on canvas shoes all worked like they should.

Below is a little known remix that is typically LAZRtag. It is good to know that the creepy shirtless cue-ball riding in the  Alfa Romeo Duetto Spyder with bikini clad models from Right Said Fred got some work as a vocalist after the early 90’s!

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Crystal Method – Double Down Under (LAZRtag Remix)

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Faux-Français

If you harbour an unfathomable desire to assimilate within the haute-monde of ever trendy hipsters it would appear that you must first develop a profound penchant for sounds that fall into the currently de rigueur ‘nu-disco’ category. To achieve this one must simply feign a consuming interest in the passing fad and stalwartly maintain that they loved disco long before it was modish.  Fortunately this is not difficult, I do it all the time.

Therefore if appearing comprehensively informed on the subject of disco in a voguish nightspot in front of those oh so stunning looking scenester harridans, the ones that make every attempt to look like they have just alighted from some equally stunning Figoni et Falaschi boulevardier on a Parisian avenue even though they have really come directly from their hospitality based employment that would cause anyone but the cretinous to feel ennui, is your ultimate aim then you need to know about Poka.

Despite hailing from the Grecian archipelagos, Poka’s current foray is into the realm of French Filter House and it is fucking fantastic. Naturally his style is heavy on filters and looped sampling (some of it clearly recognisable), so if you are down with disco and French Touch then this should be right up your allée.

I’ve thrown together an ensemble of my favourite tracks from the gifted Greek sure to impress those porcelain dolly-birds and disco sirens. However ensure you hunt down his other tunes as they are thoroughly good.

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Poka – Lonely Nights

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Poka – Coco de Mer

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Poka – Somebody Who Loves Me (Pumped Up Mix)

As a little bonus here is remix of a Poka track that is unquestionably the best of the bunch and consequently my favourite song at the moment. It is the absolute perfect song to spin Mademoiselles under your arm to.

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Poka – Believe (Cadillac Remix)

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Little Rays of Sunshine

If you celebrated festivities at We Love Sounds on the Queen’s Birthday just gone and did it properly, then today (being Wednesday) is probably the first time you have been exposed to day-light since Monday morning. But alas, there was no vitamin-D injection for exposition when you ventured with frailty past the threshold of your front door. Wistfully you scanned the skyline in desperation for a break in cloud cover, all the while longing for the amorous kiss of the sun, the embracing bath of warmth, like the special kind they rave about in California.

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DATA/DEBT – California Special (Eumig & Chinon Remix)

This is a warm, flowery and tender little treat that should alleviate post festival doldrums.

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Queen – The Real Life (Deebs Remix)

Seeing as you were too preoccupied with overstimulating your senses and emotions on her faux birthday to celebrate Elisabeth Regina in all her grace and majesty, ensure you have a listen to this demure little number as recompense.

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Wear Your Vintage Without Fear.

If you logged on to the ol’ facey book this morning you wouldn’t have failed to notice that your news feed was awash with your dickhead mates’ attempts to proselytise you into their newfound avidity in the wake of the Parklife 2010 line-up release.

However if you have been a quasi-electrindie-hipster-scenster-devotee pinned under Goyder’s line for the past three years, then you would know better than to fall victim to the release hype, for you have already seen most of the acts before.  Be it at special-event-club-nights, inconveniently timed one off shows or run of the mill festivals, the majority of artists playing have been here far too recently to warrant any sort of exclamation from the seasoned fashionably alternative music buff.

More’s the pity, as Parklife is a wonderfully incredible festival. The event held in the utopian Botanic Park was and will remain to be the most satisfyingly indulgent day of the year. There is nothing at all inferior about the score of musicians playing; the selection is just slightly stale, especially at $105 a ticket. Perhaps we are all a little disappointed that the talk of Justice returning amounted to nothing.

Although, we should not err. As the seasons turn, the warmly inviting perfume of daphnias floats along gentle zephyrs and the luxuriantly virid lawns bathed in the dazzling sunlight provides the perfect foundation for frolicking and frivolity. No fucking dust to asphyxiate on here.

To the quasi-electrindie-hipster-scenster-devotee, take comfort in the fact that those artists appearing are obscure enough to ward off the fluoro/no t-shirt brigades. You can wear your vintage without fear.

http://www.parklife.com.au/#/Adelaide/Artists

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Electronics on the Door – Electronics on the Floor

Lee Mortimer makes some loud music, which is good because he is playing tonight at Adelaide’s aspirant super-club – HQ. The speakers there operate at high volume and the disco-lasers are unquestionably the best in the state, not that that is some great achievement. The environmental bounty of the Adelaide night scene isn’t sufficient enough to warrant anything superior. The city is far better equipped to support intimate and voguish night spots.

However if visual and aural overstimulation (and perhaps even nasal) is your cup of tea, #1 North Terrace comes highly recommended, for Mortimer’s repertoire possesses tracks of particular wonkiness. Heavy drops and a miscellany of fidgety racket are the order of the day.

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TJR – Sonic Chronic (Lee Mortimer Remix)

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Four For Friday

Here are a handful of tracks that have been hovering round in the air of Stobie Poled headquarters of late. Some are old, some are new. There are no world beaters here, save the last one. However they have all been rather enjoyable in the short-term. Lend them your ears.

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Grum – LA Lights

Here we have what sounds like a homage to the end credits of an 80’s romance movie involving a star crossed lover played by a young Elisabeth Shue. Although it is an even paced uplifting ballad, one can’t help but think it is tainted with a synthetic hint of darkness and foreboding.

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Mason feat. DMC and Sam Sparro – Corrected (Alex Gopher Remix)

Alex Gopher is a dependable merchant of deep droning remixes, he seems to amalgamate dark baselines with harsh trilly synths. Seeing as we mentioned B grade 80’s cinema before, an alternate title for this track could perhaps be ‘Attack of the Mutant Kazoos from Hell’.

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Le Knight Club – Soul Bells (Quinten 909 Remix)

This disco diamond is also an uplifting affair. If you are a sucker for horns then whip out your pith helmet and safari suit and make sure you poach this one.

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Futurecop! – N.A.S.A

This truly is a stunning production. Although it has been floating round for a while, I have only just begun to honestly appreciate it. The word ‘immersive’ is incredibly hackneyed when it comes to describing Glo-fi, Dreamwave, Chillwave ..whatever. However this track really displays that particular characteristic with its heavenly tangibility.

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Dutch oven cooks it.

Afrojack, I’m disappointed. One time I gave you some mad props, but you appear to have let me down. I went against every jaded fibre of my cynical being and posted a David Guetta remix on my precious blog.  I even thought to extend you some kudos for remixing Guetta’s most prolifically atrocious track and making it bearable to listen to.

For you to then enter into a collaboration with the limp-haired, aviator-donning charlatan and produce the pitiful track above is sacrilege.

Lyrics used in electronic music are not renowned for their verbosity, so how did you two possibly fuck it up and make them so airy fairy and lame? When all you have to do is use a combination of some of the following; Get, Up, Down, Low, High, On, Off, Fuck, Move, Drugs, Wow, Now, Baby, Night, Party, Drop, Dance, Bitch….etc.

Louder than words? Most shit is dickheads. Don’t pretend you are trying to be profound and metaphoric because the people who will love this song, which they will in droves, are not even intelligent enough to realise Extreme and even Westlife already basically covered this topic over a decade ago.  I guess this is to be expected, these are the very same people that will be getting on the dog and bone and pestering radio stations to play ‘that louder than words song’, even though every sane person trapped captive by the workplace regime’s commercial radio only policy has already heard it 5 times already today.

Where is the Dutch touch Mr. Jack? Did you even partake in the production of this?

An opportunity presents itself to make reference to ovens from the Netherlands because the track is an absolute stinker. Cook with it and you can feed an entire population of cretins the same dish at least 7 times a day on Nova 91.9 time-table. They will be more than sated.

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Alcoholic Affection

For some unknown reason in my disorientation, when I peeled my sticky face off my semi-consumed silver goon sack of a pillow post-noon on the Sunday just gone, I had a particular song looping through my throbbing head. It was a completely unwarranted intrusion, what right did a tune I didn’t even like and definitely had not heard the night before have running laps through my noggin in a pair of stilettos? The song probably permeated itself into the gap that had recently formed by my binge effected desiccated brain receding from the inside of my skull.

To my surprise, despite the constant unwelcome barrage of the tune, I found myself appreciating it with increasing fondness. This was to such an extent, that after I had located my wallet and telephone (the dairy section of the refrigerator) and my shoes (saturated on the front lawn) and scuffed my way home, that I played it in reality. It’s actually not too bad, better than head injuries sustained from a bludgeoning by the ol’ silver handbag.

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Scissor Sisters – Invisible Light (Siriusmo Remix)

I don’t particularly care for the Scissor Sisters, this is in a totally non-homophobic way, their music just sounds a bit cheap and poppy. But Siriusmo’s robotic sounding manipulation here is obviously pretty catchy, a bit like Meningococcal. For me to suddenly like it I’d quiet clearly done some damage at the discotheque the night before. I was sore, disco sore.

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Siriusmo – Diskosau

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Naboolshit?

The Uni Bar @ Adelaide University – Long-time considered a stalwart facilitator of social acceptance, for the displaced and disaffected clique seekers, through the decanting of bitter ales and noisome plonk.

Under the protective shelter of a wicker ceiling grown fetid from years of exposure to mundungus and evaporated bodily effluent you will find them. Atop the stale lager soaked carpet they stand united in cause; the unleashed secondary school misfits, the prides of joy from impoverished families, the trust funded medical aspirers that fascinate your mother and the indolent talent wasting underachievers that repulse her.

Together they congregate around the ersatz decor making considerable progress into their frothy nepenthean pitchers pretending not to be ignorant by discussing scholarly subjects like symbiotic psychosis and Satre. All the while pretending to be completely ignorant of the unguinous block-head that persists in yelling ‘Woop Woop’ every time he ‘nails’ another ‘fucker’ on Buck Hunter.

The draught continues to be drained up until the point where the only appealing looking female, the one whose innocent gaze you attempted fruitlessly to catch, the one that looks like she is experiencing her first foray into inebriety, leaves with that papuliferous pasty motherfucker wielding a clipboard who harangued you for seven never-to-be-returned minutes about joining some Society for Douchebaggery to hang out with precisely the people you frequented the bar to avoid and inadvertently ended up feigning interest in their conversations because they appeared to acquaintances of that sole female on the premises you thought was (in the words of boy buck hunter) ‘rootable’.

Consequently the noyade of sorrow is terminated and the occupants stagger an exodus, avoiding the gaze of the jerk that is still incessantly pumping the plastic firearm, in the secret hope that Clarry Clipboard has been called away to an Ultimate Frisbee tournament and has been forced to discard his prize at the foot of the stairs.

I wonder how ‘Naboo the Enigma’s’ DJ set at the Uni bar was received last night. These reviews,

http://joelyrighteous.com/2010/05/22/music-review-mike-fielding-aka-naboo-mighty-boosh-dj-set-qbar/

http://www.thevine.com.au/music/live-reviews/live-review,-photos-_-naboo-from-the-mighty-boosh,-brisbane-201020100517.aspx

have been scathing to say the least. According to the above, as a Boosh fan I would be crying fucking rort if I had forked out money for a ticket and a sweet ass white leather jacket and tutu for my Old Greg scaly-man-fish costume to hear a set better suited to the alabaster retards at the Grand on a Sunday night.

Not the Uni Bar’s fault though (that’s if Mike Fielding’s performance turned out to be the farce the previous reviews indicate, see I speculate here),  they had Miami Horror in there last week, which is rather notable.

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Miami Horror – Sometime (Shazam Remix)

Of all the ‘Sometimes’ remixes out there, this is one of the better ones with its pleasant and catchy rhythm. It would have been considerably massive had it not be released subsequently to the G.L.O.V.E.S remix which is the undisputed head of the ‘Sometimes’ family. Go buy your way into the family at the usual hideouts.